Sum Place Lore

 [A few updates] Imperium continues its winning streak, winning the follow up Chaos mini campaign and the follow up 40K Pirates of the Graildark Campaign (Ork, Dark Eldar and Imperium), which featured a lot of 40K raids and fighting over scrap counters. Now with the Graildark Nebulae firmly secured, we're spending some time doing more orky mini games and celebrating the wonderful world of Sum Place, while we figure out what the next big campaign will be. 

So with that in mind I'll be posting some lore based on our fun mini games and campaigns. All written from the orks (and grots perspective!)

Chapter 1: Sum Place

Right, my names McSquiggins, I'm the oldest and cunniest grot around these parts. And I'm ere to tell yah about Sum Place. Wots Sum Place you ask? Well it's a world in da ooniverse. A part of tha ooniverse wit no Tau Bluies and no  Tyranid bug fings, but plenty of humies, spikey chaos humies, an pointy eared gitz about. 

In any case, Sum Place waz nice an big wit crushin gravity, and nice thick clouds tha blot out the sky. Under tha clouds it's nice an warm. Dry and deserty in sum parts, wet and foresty in uver parts. It got mountains an plains too. But ugh who cares about all uv that? 

Wots interestin iz it has orks, an grots, an squigs an things like that. Now the orkses there had sum smart meks, an dey made shootas, an trukks, an even a few battle wagons. But dey never made any space fingeys. Thas cause of da clouds. Yah see, da orks uv sum place actually believed der wuz no ooniverse, no world beyond da one dey lived on, an definitely no such fing as aliens!

But one mek had different ideas. No un members iz name, but eh was an odd one. He thought tha der wuz aliens. even uver orks beyond da clouds, an dat da best way ta find dem wuz ta build this beacon fing an challenge dem ta cum to Sum Place!

Well all da uver meks an da bosses thought this odd boy wuz crazy. So they all jus laughed at im while he spent all iz teef on a bunch of flashy scrap, which he used ta build iz beacon. It was an odd lookin fing, sort of a giant steel tower with all this weird invisible waves coming out of it. After a while he built it up an den started sending out the broadcast. Everyone waited. But nuthin happened. Eventually, sum Nob ended up snipping this git, and gutted iz tower for scrap. An everyone forgot about im for a while. 

Chapter 2: Captain Rot Ear

A long time later, a bunch of orky space ships arrived and landed on Sum Place. This wuz Captain Rotear, Da Free Booter. Eh said he had heard the message from the old tower and thats how he found them. He said tha since he wuz so smart an da local boyz wuz so dumb, tha they would av ta join iz free booter crew an elp him raid an loot da humie worlds. Of course, da orks uv Sum Place agreed. 

And so da local boyz helped Captain Rot Ear with his raiding. Dey had sum winz, like when dey blew up a big Imperial Ship which dey salvaged and turned into a new Krooza. Der wuz also da famous ground raid on tha spikey chaos gits base. Dat wuz when an onslaught attack ship landed, an da speed freaks all got out, ran over a bunch of zombies on a highway, stole a bunch of lil chaos ships, an trashed der space port. Ya harrrr! Dat wuz a fun one. I was der with ol Captain Rot Ear. Yis Yis I wuz. I swear. 

But der wuz also sum setbacks as well. Dis Admiral named John came an he crippled da fleet with this surprise gittish raid eh did! Oi, now that wuz a set back. Captain Rot Ear wuz none too happy about that! Ta make matters worse, da meks couldn't find da right scrap ta fix da big ships. So Captain Rot Ear decided he would start usin da little ships ta raid da Imperial worlds with da speed freaks jus like he had done to da chaos boyz. It wuz right around dat time, tha he also cut a deal wit da Dark Pointy Eared Gitz!

Chapter 3: Lootin an Dealin

Yis dats right. Ever since Captain Rot Ear showed up, da Pointy Eared Gitz had started raidin sum place. Dey always wanted slaves, but dey wasn't ard enough ta capture any boyz. Usually dey could only get away with snatchin a few grots, da weak gitz! Well eventually dey figured dis was no gud for dem. An dey also showed ow gud Captain Rot Ear was at raidin da Imperium. So they offered im a deal. Rot Ear gives em humie slaves, an dey gives im da best scrap! Rot Ear agreed to it, mostly because Pointy Eared Gitz is no fun ta fight cuz der jus so slippery yah can never mount a proper attack. But he did promise da boyz dat eh wud double cross dem one iz kroozas was fixed up proper. 

An so began da great ground raids of the surrounding sector. We wuz raking in tons of scrap for a while. Tha first world we hit wuz sum icy place. Da Speed freaks went all over da mountains an wilderness, killing dese miners an capturin a few for da pointy ears, an tearing up their equipment for scrap. Dat all wint well until dem Space Marines showed up. Of course Captain Rot Ear nearly wiped dem out too, but da air space marine boyz kept im from doing tha. An ta make matters worse dey got all da gud scrap into their own hands. So Rot Ear new, eh had to find anuver planet to attack. One wit no space marine boyz!

Same thing appened on the nex planet, only dis time, after a whole bunch of gud raids, a whole lot of space marine boyz showed up and tried ta keep Tot Ear an the Speed Freaks from gittin back ta da space ship! 

Well mos of tha speed freaks did make it back. But Rot Ear didn't. Sum ladz saw his battle wagon exploding as dey wuz speedin away, but no one saw im die. But tha didn't stop sum cowardly nob from telling da fly boyz ta take off! An so Captain Rot Ear didn't come back from dat raid an most boyz figured eh wuz ded. 

Chapter 4: Adrift

Without Rot Ear, da ladz quickly turned on each other. Da tribes wuz fed up with tha free booter nonsense, especially trading with pointy eared gitz so tha tribes rose up and killed any ork dat didn't seem orky enuf. Of course, dis led da free booters in space ta leave Sum Place, taking alf da ships and all of da Kroozas with dem! De, Back Stabbin Gits. 

Around dis same time, da tribes went to war with each other an ad a gud ol time fightin an killin. Da Dark Pointy Eared Git raids resumed, humies escaped from da slave pens, grots rebelled, der was a fight with a giant squig-a saurus, an all other manner of krazy stuff appened! 

Fortunately da Imperials never bothered ta exterminate-us cuz either dey never found Sum Place or didn't fink it wuz worth it. Dey'll regret dat decision, mark my words. 

Chapter 5: Da Big Rok Hits

Sum say it was punishment of Gork and Mork for not bein ard enuf. But I sayz dats nonsense. Who cares why it appened? Wot happened u asked? Well sum big rok fell outta the sky an kicked up a whole bunch of dust, killed a bunch of stuff, flattened trees, an made tha whole place really cold. Dats when da boyz stopped callin it sum place. Now its called Snow Morka. At least thas wat the Morkas call it. Da Gorkers call it Snow Gorka. But I still call it Sum Place. 

Chapter 6: Life Eere Now

Ders unly two big orky towns left. One for da Red Skulls tribe an da uver for da Red Fangz tribe. Da bosses an mobs fight eachother like proper orkses do, an most of the fightin is over prized scrap. Ders still a few free booters floatin about so u can hitch a ride on der space ships for da right price, but why throw in with a free booter when ders plenty of humies ta stomp right ere?

Dats right, dese feral humies escaped da slave pens long ago an live in da forests an mountains now. Used ta be der weren't too many of em but now dey got lots of em. So da mobs av ta go in a try ta cull em from time to time. Course dey use sneaky git tacics an wot now, but dese stupid humies. Jus bows and arrers and axes. Dey can't stand up against a proper shoota or choppa! 

Sum Day a Big Proper Ork Boss will appear an we'll av a proper Waaagh, but for now life for da average ork ain't so bad. Now for us grots I can't say tha same thing! Ders never enuf food dese days, so gettin not eatin ain't easy!